Booze, Burgers and Backsliding

How concerned should I be for my father? He is a recovering alcoholic. My father was an alcoholic when my parents met, and quit along with my mom when I was born. When I was three years old they married and he started drinking again.

He ALWAYS had his silver cup of Jaeger, EVERYWHERE.

Suddenly, in February, he quit cold turkey, with the help of anti-DT meds in February. This was after he had developed acute pancreatitus. He said never even craved alcohol again.

I go hang out with him every Sunday and today he took me and his wife to see speedboat races. While there he bought a cold beer - and than another. That was all he had today. He did not drink anything. But, "What the hell!?"

I even asked him once if he was going to start drinking again after his pancreatitis cleared up and he said that would be the stupidest thing he could ever do. I hadn't seen him drink since he quit, and it was a shock. He never drank beer even when he DID drink. I don't know how to approach him on this... I'm only 19 and he might not take my interference so well, but I HAVE to know what the hell's going on.

He's been trying so hard to build himself back up. He also had a hip replacement and some kidney issues that were due to the painkillers he took for his hip and went away after he quit taking them - which brings me to my next point: He was supposed to restrict his protein intake, and today for lunch he had a friggin cheeseburger! And a huge one.

I asked his wife about it and she said he tries to restrict his protein until he can't stand it anymore and he's been having cheeseburgers EVERY DAY but that his kidneys are doing fine with it. He's always been healthy aside from the alcohol-he's a fifty-four year old Tae-kwon-do master/school owner.

We ARE getting along really well now, so I am going to somehow bring it up when I talk to him tonight (we call each other every night) but I'm not sure how...

PS - I meant they both quit when she found out she was pregnant

DOJ
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"What the hell?" is right DOJ!

If your dad is a real alcoholic and he is drinking – then he is not recovering. It doesn’t matter whether he calls himself ‘recovering’ or not.

He isn't.

Alcoholics who still drink as if they can do so safely aren’t going to recover from anything except the occasional cold, flu or the like.

Certainly not from alcoholism.

Alcoholics who still drink are just that-- they are still alcoholics who still drink. It is possible that he is NOT a real alcoholic and CAN now drink. It could be that he is merely someone who has abused alcohol in the past and who has learned how to moderate his intake like anyone else who is also non-alcoholic.

The world is full of people who - although are not truly alcoholic - used to have a problem with EtOH but have realized drinking too much/too often is harmful an detrimental to happy living and so they moderate – maybe with a little counseling or some other such secular/non-spiritual human aid. But 'you' would have no what of knowing for sure.

If you really want to know if he’s all right don't look to his alcohol intake -- look to him as a person.

Alkies aren't just booze damaged bodies with brians --- they are afflicted, sick individuals with ailing souls and distorted personalities.

According to “Alcoholics Anonymous” alcohol is only a symptom of the real problem. “Our liquor was but a symptom. So we had to get down to causes and conditions.” (64:0)

Instead it would be more revealing to observe; How is Dad's patience? Is he kind and loving and helpful to others or is he restless irritable and discontent? Is he wrought with emotional entanglements, fear, anxiety and depression? Is he plagued by physical ailments and does he struggle with negativity? All of the later indicates untreated spiritual sickness which leads to abuses of all kind including chronic alcoholism. (And drugs use as well,) Good luck. I truly hope that helps.

Peace and Love,
Danny S - RLRA
Real Live Recovered Alcoholic

http://recoveredalcoholic.blogspot.com