Danny,My sponsor is driving me nuts. She is a know it all. She gets mad at me whenever she thinks that she has "already told me that" usually when I ask her about something I have heard in a meeting that I like. (A saying or something). Then she accuses me of not listening to her. She interrupts me and doesn't let me respond or finish sentences.
She gives me random assignments that are not out of AA books and doesn't tell me when she wants them completed. Then later then yells at me when I have not completed the assignment - sometimes the very next day.
My friend died yesterday and I just wanted to lay in bed. I did not attend a meeting and she was trying to catch me in a lie about it. She pushes her religion on me, making me buy Buddhist books when I have already told her that I have a preferred religion. Her response is "Well I enjoy thinking about new ideas and I wish you did too."
She wants me to call her everyday with an idea I got out of any spiritual book and tell her what it means to me. If I read the sentence to her she tells me "You could read it if you wanted to read it" and "I want to know what it means to you." Then I say two words about it she cuts me off and rambles on for an hour about what she thinks it means.
The woman is making me nuts. I don't care about anything she has to say any more. Just the thought of calling her just stresses me out. I have stopped going to meetings altogether and been really grumpy because I don't know how to break up with my sponsor.
J.C.
She gives me random assignments that are not out of AA books and doesn't tell me when she wants them completed. Then later then yells at me when I have not completed the assignment - sometimes the very next day.
My friend died yesterday and I just wanted to lay in bed. I did not attend a meeting and she was trying to catch me in a lie about it. She pushes her religion on me, making me buy Buddhist books when I have already told her that I have a preferred religion. Her response is "Well I enjoy thinking about new ideas and I wish you did too."
She wants me to call her everyday with an idea I got out of any spiritual book and tell her what it means to me. If I read the sentence to her she tells me "You could read it if you wanted to read it" and "I want to know what it means to you." Then I say two words about it she cuts me off and rambles on for an hour about what she thinks it means.
The woman is making me nuts. I don't care about anything she has to say any more. Just the thought of calling her just stresses me out. I have stopped going to meetings altogether and been really grumpy because I don't know how to break up with my sponsor.
J.C.
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Hi J.C.
Very disturbing stuff, if what you say is accurate. Those behaviors, as you have described them, - are not how an AA sponsor who has learned how to sponsor a newcomer-protegee acts - not one who gets their information out of the Big Book, "Alcoholics Anonymous".
Sponsorship is SUPPOSED to be for the express purpose of taking an un-recovered alcoholic through the Twelve Step so that they can experience a spiritual awakening as the result and a exact a subsequent recovery from alcoholism.
They become recovered - as the 'sponsor' has recovered.
The person you describe sounds like some sort of kooky life-coach wanna-be or amateur counseling 'buff' who has not got a clue as to what her Big Books tells her are her responsibilities or how to deal with you. It's all right in there.
Has she even got a copy of "Alcoholics Anonymous"?
Get rid of her now – not tomorrow – NOW - and print this out for her. Give it to her before she kills you and other alcoholics. Her big fat ego sounds way too controlling even over her own behaviors to take this seriously but there is always a chance. That woman is out of control. Find someone who knows where the directions are and who follows them.
This is no joke. I am serious.
This is how someone who hasn't got a clue acts when they don't know what else to do , are too self-important and impressed with their "sponsorship" role to tell you "I don't know".
Dump that kook. She's 'poison.
Peace & Love,
Danny S – RLRA
Real Live Recovered Alcoholic
http://recoveredalcoholic.blogspot.com
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